|MENTORS, GUIDES, COACHES ARE A LIFELINE TO HUMANITY'S CONTINUAL GROWTH, PROSPERITY, SURVIVAL AND EVOLUTION.... |
Posted by Champaklal Dajibhai Mistry on October 14, 2006
WHEN IN LIFE
DO YOU STOP NEEDING
MENTORING, COACHING AND GUIDING?
WHAT IS MENTOR AND
A mentor is defined as a trusted
intimate, educated and experienced counselor, guide, teacher, and
coach with knowledge and wisdom who, can hold up a clear non-illusive mirror to another person called
mentee or protégé.
In this mirror the mentor empowers the mentee to see
one's true self. The revelation of true self empower the mentee to identify
one potentials of inherent strengths and weakness. This revelation in turn
empowers the mentee to walk the life knowing the potentiality of the
endeavours that need to be made to realize the vision, goals and objective
of the walk of life. Knowing this in turn the mentee can then empower the
mentor to counsel, guide, teach to learn to learn, and coach the mentee.
These actions on the part the mentor empowers mentee to undertake and do
everything that is needed to be done to achieve mentee's vision, goals and
objectives. But the mentor never does anything other than counsel, guide,
teach to learn to learn coach the mentee.
The mutual empowerment between
mentor and mentee powers, drives and sustains the mentor-mentee relationship.
the growth of this relationship flourishes on selfless mutual explicit and
respect, reverence, confidence each shows to the other without any
conditions or attachment to each other.
Non-attachment and unconditional
relationship creates independence in mentee to depend on oneself with
confidence to attain one's vision, goals and objectives.
A mentor mentee
relationship starts with tapping by mentee into the mentor's life experience
and wisdom. And as the relationship grows both parties tend towards a
relationship of give and receive.
This mutual two-way give and receive
happens inherently , involuntarily and automatically in the process due to the fact
that life is continually dynamic process in flux and needs continuing education for both the
mentor and the mentee.
The time factor in the dynamics of life creates many
changes in the culture and the language in which the mentor-mentee
relationship operates. And continuing education and its implementation in
the changing life with time empowers continuity of give and receive.
in the long term, mentor-mentee relationship is a win-win for both.
foremost winner is the humanity which depends on its evolution, growth and
prosperity for its continual survival in an environment of harmonious
co-existence in nature's inherent diversity and its clash created by the
time phenomenon of past, present and future.
GENESIS OF MENTORING
The genesis of the mentor-mentee process and
need is found right at the dawn of creation starting from parent-child in
all living beings. In case of humanity this fact all civilizations have
documentation of mentor-mentee relationships in real life history and
anecdotes, legends, myths and in minds of writers, poets and storey tellers
and history of gods and goddesses for those who believe in them.
civilization of recorded history we have a character called
Homer's epic poem Odyssey. Greek goddess of wisdom, weaving, crafts, and
war, named Athena takes on the Mentor's
physical form to guide young Telemachus in his time of difficulty.
Mentor was a friend of his father
Odysseus who had placed Mentor in charge of his son, Telemachus, and of
his palace. Telemachus was the son of king of Ithaca named Odysseus and his wife
Penelope. Athena counsels and guides Telemchus at the age of twenty year
when he starts his search for his father Odysseus who had gone on the day he
was born to fight the Trojan war and subsequently held captive on an unknown
island by Calypso who was a sea nymph and daughter of Atlas. In Greek
mythology, Atlas was one of the primordial Titans who were a race of
powerful gods that ruled during the legendary Golden Age.
Telemachus and Mentor who was a friend of his father
Odysseus in Homer's Greek epic poem Odyssey in 7th Century BC.
Athena the Greek goddess of wisdom, weaving, crafts, and war
MENTORING FROM GENESIS TO PRESENT DAY
Alexander the Great, (356–323 BC) king of
Macedon, who conquered the known world from Greece to the Persian Empire,
Anatolia, Syria, Phoenicia, Gaza, Egypt, Bactria and Mesopotamia to the
eastern limits of Indus Valley civilization in 12 years of reign from
326-323 BC starting at an age of 20 years was educated and mentored by the
famous Greek philosopher Aristotle in rhetoric and literature and
stimulated Alexander's interest in science, medicine, and philosophy.
The first recorded usage of the word Mentor
since Homer's time in 8th century BC, is in a book entitled "Les
Adventures de Telemachus", by the French writer François Fénelon. In this
book the lead character is that of Mentor. This book was published in 1699
and was very popular during the 18th century and the modern application of
the term can be traced to this publication. What Mentor provided to
Telemchus is what a mentor is supposed to provide to a mentee today
-knowledge and wisdom as possessed by the Goddess Athena.
Knowledge of a mentor used in mentoring
consists of knowledge of oneself or of one's capabilities derived
from holistic understanding of one's own being and existence of the realms
of physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual and life path traveled
with one's education and experience.
Wisdom is accumulated information
from philosophy and science of life and ability to use it for intelligent
application to discern inner and outer realities of life at a point in
time, at a particular place and for a particular purpose and relationships
with insight, sagacity, virtue, judgment and prudence and good practical
sense with attachment and/or conditions.
Historically, systems and programs of
mentorship include apprenticing under the medieval guild system, and the
discipleship system practiced by both Rabbinical Judaism and the Christian
church in the western civilization. These are continued in the last 500
years to date in the western civilization evolved based on discoveries of
MESSAGE & NEWS FROM PVAF
PVAF is publishing today's news story as TO REMOVE
POVERTY IN HUMANKIND THROUGH EDUCATION is its primary mandate to
exist.....And mentoring an entire community starting with children and their
parents is a key element of the PVAF GEP Program...
PVAF has a pleasure in publishing the thoughts on
mentoring from its own Chair of Education & Web
Site Development, Champaklal Dajibhai Mistry of Edmonton,
Alberta, Canada since the inception of PVAF in 1996.....
Champaklal also has been
mentoring the PVAF Board and students who have been awarded full 4-year
university scholarships under PVAF Gujraat Education Program (PVAF GEP) To
Remove Poverty Through Education....
YOU can click
to learn about PVAF GEP on this web site
AWARD WINNING PVAF
PVAF takes great pleasure in also announcing
that Champaklal Dajibhai Mistry
who is a Professional Civil Engineer has been awarded
APEGGA MENTOR OF THE YEAR 2006
AWARD in Alberta. APEGGA is a 45,000-plus members Association of
Professional Engineers, Geologists and Geophysicists in Alberta, Canada.
to read this award story and APEGGA. PVAF
congratulates Champaklal on his award and for his past and continuing
developmental and mentoring services to PVAF...
The above columns has been provided for publishing by
Champaklal Mistry in a token celebration for his above noted APEGGA award
And continuing from genesis time to today, in
Canada mentoring is currently surfacing as a growing need of the Generation X
(born between 1961 to 1981) and Generation Y (born between 1980s to 2001)... read
about this in the article published in the Canadian Globe and Mail this week by
clicking on the next line.....
Rookies could use a
little coaching, too: WHY?
Used to structure,
feeling more pressured than their parents, twentysomethings are hiring
AND FOR WHAT PURPOSE?
to help navigate the waters of
early working life
Globe and Mail:
Globe Careers: August 16, 2006: REBECCA DUBE:
Nancy Tavares-Jones was 27 and unhappy at work. She didn't hate her job in a
government real estate office -- she just didn't love it.
"Well, nobody really likes what they do," friends and family told her. But
after four years and thousands of dollars spent on university, Ms.
Tavares-Jones says, "I just thought there would be more to it."
Like many twentysomethings, Ms. Tavares-Jones agonized over what to do. Was
the geography she'd majored in her true passion? Was her apathy about her
career just part of growing up? Or did she need to make a drastic change?
Unlike most twentysomethings, she decided to seek answers with the aid of a
professional. "I had heard there was some beast called a career coach that
could help me out," she says.
Using a phone book, she called on Toronto career coach Shirin Khamisa, who
guided her through a series of questionnaires and conversations about her
career. In their fifth session, they discovered what Ms. Tavares-Jones
really wanted to do with her life. Now she's going back to school for a new
career while still working at her real estate job.
"I feel like I have a better sense of direction," Ms. Tavares-Jones says.
Ms. Tavares-Jones is one of a growing number of young people turning to
professional coaches to help them find a job, keep a job or just figure out
what they want to do with their lives.
Forget experimenting with different careers or idly wandering though their
first few years in the work force -- this generation wants answers. As
coaching over all grows in popularity, young people who in the past may have
turned to family, teachers or clergy members for advice now have a new
Experts say twentysomethings feel more pressure not to make mistakes than
their parents did, and they're also accustomed to more structured
After a lifetime of ballet lessons, soccer camps and tutoring, hiring a
coach to help navigate the rough waters of early adulthood doesn't seem so
Although the typical coaching client is still a mid-career professional
climbing the ladder, about one-third of Ms. Khamisa's clients are in their
"They may have, or their parents may have, invested quite a bit of money in
their education, and that may cause quite a lot of anxiety and frustration,"
says Ms. Khamisa, owner of Careers by Design. "They just feel like there's
too many options and choices and they don't know how to move forward."
Ms. Khamisa says "the clients I see are well-educated; typically, they have
at least one university degree, they're tech-savvy and they're very
But their book smarts sometimes fail to help them. Ms. Khamisa recalls one
young motivated and ambitious client who routinely refused assignments from
her boss if she felt the work wouldn't contribute to her personal
development. Unsurprisingly, her career wasn't going very well.
"She was very focused on her own goals and didn't realize that she was now
part of an organization, part of a team," Ms. Khamisa said. "It was a
classic example of early work experience and not understanding how things
work and how to move ahead."
Vancouver life coach Laura North has also noticed an increase in the number
of young clients. She recently coached a woman in her mid-twenties feeling
disillusioned in her first "real" job after spending a year abroad. She kept
the job, Ms. North says, but coaching changed her attitude about work.
"It's rarely about the job," Ms. North says. "It's almost always about
what's going on internally with the person."
Sharing their innermost hopes and fears comes naturally to the current crop
of twentysomethings, who grew up under the influence of Oprah and Dr. Phil.
"The previous generation, I'm sure they wouldn't seek that out," says
Michele Caron, an Ottawa-based life coach.
"Young people today are much more worldly. They are more open."
Some see the interest in coaching as a confluence of two trends: a growing
service economy, in which formerly personal tasks are outsourced to
professionals; and the increasingly scheduled lives of young people.
"They're much more programmed. Their lives have been planned out for them,"
says John Challenger, chief executive officer of outplacement consultancy
Challenger Gray & Christmas.
Coaching fills that unstructured void after university for the young who
feel adrift, Mr. Challenger says.
|It is also part of the commercialization of
relationships, he adds.
"We work and live in a time where we see a lot of manufactured, or
synthetic, trust . . . Synthetic mentors like a coach may substitute for or
be a complement for the mentorship of a parent, an aunt, an uncle, a
teacher, a minister," Mr. Challenger says. He adds that synthetic isn't
necessarily bad -- young people do need mentors.
The demand for coaching is also fuelled by the fact that the transition to
adulthood is taking longer these days, says Abby Wilner, co-author of
Quarterlife Crisis and The Quarterlifer's Companion.
"We are job-hopping and getting married later and paying off mounting debt
due to the increasing costs of education and housing," says Ms. Wilner.
Exploring options after university can be healthy, she says, as long as
young adults are prepared for uncertainty.
Ms. North says younger people are her favourite clients because they're more
open to sharing information about themselves than older people, and more
enthusiastic about considering new options.
"They're still in a fairly idealistic stage in their development and looking
for answers in a different way than older people."
Younger clients also react differently to coaching than older people, she
says, simply because the experience of discussing their future with someone
who's not a parent or teacher is such a novelty. "So much of coaching is
really listening to people. In your early twenties, you get told so much,
it's refreshing for people in their twenties to have somebody really listen
Ms. Caron says she thinks young people are
being smart by seeking out coaching at the beginning of their careers,
rather than waiting until they encounter problems in their 40s. "They're
looking ahead and saying: 'I don't want to make the wrong choice.' "
But Mr. Challenger does see a danger that too much coaching, or the wrong
type of mentoring, could spawn a generation of cookie-cutter job
applicants."You could see how it could be overkill," he says.
Cost is the main bar for most young people. Ms. Khamisa charges $65 for a
one-hour session and Ms. North's services cost $450 a month. But she's
willing to work out a deal for especially motivated clients. She once traded
coaching for babysitting services.
The one thing she won't do is work with someone whose parents are paying the
entire bill, a policy shared by many other coaches. "The clients just aren't
that committed," Ms. North says.
For Ms. Tavares-Jones, hiring a career coach required some scrimping, but
she believes the six-session investment in her future was worth it. She's
now studying to become certified in a rapidly growing field that she and Ms.
Khamisa determined was perfect for her -- career coaching.
"My interests are helping people discover who they are," she says. ". . . We
kind of had a giggle about that."
In your corner
As more young people turn to career coaches, here are some
tips from the experts:
- Have a clear sense of what you want out of coaching
sessions. Are you looking to move ahead in your job? Switch careers?
Decide whether to go back to school?
- Don't expect a coach to hand you the answers. It's more
about asking questions, and it takes work on the client's part.
- Remember that coaching isn't therapy. Emotional healing
is not the goal.
- Coaching also isn't a quick fix. Expect to devote at
least three to six months to the process.
- To find the right coach for you, interview several in
person or over the phone. Ask them to describe their approach and their
philosophy to see if their style is compatible with your goals. Ask about
training and experience, including certification, areas of expertise,
track record and background. Don't be afraid to ask for referrals and call
- Ask if they have their own coach. Life coach Laura
North says this shows a commitment to their own growth and helps keep
their skills current.
- Ask for a complimentary coaching session to experience
and evaluate the coach's approach; some coaches also offer trial periods
with money-back guarantee.
- Ask about fees. Coaching can cost anywhere from $50 to
$750 an hour; some coaches are willing to discount their rates to
particularly motivated young people.
© The Globe and Mail.
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