WIFE: MULTI-TASKING WOMEN STRUGGLING TO BE OR NOT TO BE..with industrialization and lack of DHARm knowledge re CREATOR'S DESIGNED WOMAN'S ROLE IN LIFE
Posted by Vishva News Reporter on December 24, 2010

 

NOW WITH INDUSTRIAL PROSPERITY OF MATERIAL WEALTH
In the traditional "uni-tasking" husband-wife meaning in family life
with husband remaining uni-tasking as traditional husband....
.....the meaning and  multi-tasking role for a wife is changing to

Corporate Wife,
Retro Wife,
Political Wife,
Abused Wife,
Good Wife
 and the latest
 Superior Wife......

(To know what uni-tasking and multi-tasking means in the latest scientific research....
please visit to refresh your memory of what "multi-tasking" does to a person
in the scientific research news article published this AASHRAM NEWS page by clicking here)




In their quest for more power after generations of not having enough, br /> wives have eagerly taken control of not just the family and the housework,
but also bringing home the bacon, paying bills and making major financial decisions.

In the process, they've discovered their superior ability to multitask,
"one of the serious biological differences" between men and women,
 But they have also undermined their own happiness.

Say Ms Carin Rubenstein, author and social psychologist,
in her new book to be released second week September 2009:
"the Superior Wife"
....PVAF'S CONTINUING SHARING OF TRUE KNOWLEDGE
TO GIVE YOU A LIFE CHOICE OPTION FOR
HAPPIER FAMILY LIFE CHOICES.....

PVAF is publishing this news story full of knowledge about how man-woman relationship is evolving in current time era called kli-yug in vED SCIENCES KNOWLEDGE OF LIFE AND CREATION ....and PVAF recommends YOU to refresh your knowledge memory of the Creator's design for man-woman relationship in changing in 4-yug cyclic vEDik time cycles in NEWS ARCHIVE and vED pages on this knowledge sharing website....

One of the vEDik fundamental reason of the evolving "SUPERIOR WIFE" role explained by Ms. Carin Rubenstein in her new book is what has been stated in 18 puraaAN texts : In kli-yug women will rule men with money/wealth controlling everybody and all human kARm (all human actions performed with thought, speech and body functions and actions) with least regard to the rules and regulations of DHARm....Without living to the rules and regulations of DHARm life becomes more of DuKH (pain, suffering due to life and body systemic malfunctions) in futile effort to have suKH (happiness, joy, pleasure and prosperity thereof)...

If you wish to discuss the above vEDik aspect of Ms Carin Rubenstein's "THE SUPERIOR WIFE" then the contributor of this news item Champaklal Dajibhai Mistry of Edmonton, Alberta Canada has kindly agreed to your contact with him whereby he can share with YOU his continuing study of vED = SCIENCES OF LIFE AND CREATION.....please click here to contact Mr. Mistry by email....OR post your questions/comments in this news item by clicking on the POST A COMMENT button in the header of this news item......

.....Now  enlighten yourself with the knowledge of Ms Rubenstein on the evolution of women to superior wife....by clicking on the next line to go to the next page of this news.....


 


.....Meet the Superior Wife...

She brings home the bacon,
raises the kids
and pays the bills,
say no thanks to hapless hubby.
......And she may be headed for divorce!!!!....

(From Canadian Globe and Mail: September 4, 2009: Sarah Hampson's Generation Ex: email: shampson@globeandmail.com)


A wife is rarely just a wife. She is a person who is modified somehow - a reflection, arguably, of the continuing debate (and, some might say, confusion) about how to be one.

There is the Corporate Wife, the Retro Wife, the Political Wife, the Abused Wife, the Good Wife - and now, thanks to Carin Rubenstein, author and social psychologist, there is a new handle: the Superior Wife.

That's the title of Ms. Rubenstein's new book, to be released next week.

And it's the wife-du-jour in popular culture, at least judging by the frequent depiction of efficient wives and hapless husbands in contemporary advertising.

Ms. Rubenstein has put her finger on a problem in modern marriage.

Unfortunately, it's her solutions which are flawed.

In their quest for more power after generations of not having enough, wives have eagerly taken control of not just the family and the housework, but also bringing home the bacon, paying bills and making major financial decisions. In the process, they've discovered their superior ability to multitask, "one of the serious biological differences" between men and women, according to Ms. Rubenstein. But they have also undermined their own happiness.

The dynamic is not good - not for wives, not for husbands and not for marriage.

The "have-it-all" exhortation in the feminist movement led to the Do-It-All Wife, a state of disgruntlement that often ends in divorce. "A lot of divorced women said that because they were doing everything anyway, they think, 'What's the point in staying together?' They just give up, basically," Ms. Rubenstein explains.

She is not speaking of all marriages, she is quick to point out, but in her research, conducted through Web surveys, two out of three respondents, male and female, described the dynamic of Superior Wife in their unions. Research that shows fathers take part in family life more than their counterparts did in previous generations does not reflect the fact that their involvement is being directed by the wives, who have to remind them when and where to pick up a child, say, or what to make for supper, she says.

Women are partly to blame, she freely admits. They like the upper hand. "It makes you feel sort of powerful. It's empowering to know that you are the one doing it all better."

In her marriage of 30 years - a happy one, she says - she sees how her own behaviour created the inequality that irked her. "My husband cannot, for the life of him, clean a pot. If I make him do a pot, I'm afraid to look," says the mother of two grown children.

She had to learn to let go of her superior pot-cleaning obsession. Women's standards may be higher, she says, "but they may not be better. There's no right or wrong way to dress a baby or put a diaper on, unless it drops off."

The arrival of children is often when the problem starts, as men think they don't know how to deal with babies. Couples need to be "on hyper-alert" about these gender assumptions, she says. "Women need to monitor themselves more than their husbands," she explains. "When their husbands say, 'Oh, you do it better,' they need to say, "No, I do not."

To allow husbands to learn their own competency in looking after children, some wives say they have to leave the house, Ms. Rubenstein adds.


Critical as she is of wives, though, Ms. Rubenstein places most of the blame on husbands. "There are not enough good men around," she says at one point, declaring that equitable marriage is a long way off. "It's always easier when someone is rowing the boat to sit back and ride, especially when someone seems to need to be rowing the boat and wants to be rowing the boat."

Unfortunately (and ironically), Ms. Rubenstein's approach to addressing the inequality in many marriages is as potentially destructive as the problem she describes. To lighten their load - or swing the pendulum nearer the middle - she encourages wives to use their superiority to reprogram and train their husbands.

In one part of the book, she suggests that women use sex to manipulate their spouses. "He's like a two-year-old child," she says of most husbands. "You have to offer him a piece of candy. You have to work with rewards that are going to work. Sex is one of those."

She infantilizes men at the same time as she reports that wives complain that their husbands are like additional children they didn't ask for.

Which is not helpful.

"Men are forging a new way of being husbands and fathers and family men, and sometimes this is awkward," comments Neil Chethik, an expert on men who researched how husbands are adjusting to the evolution of marriage for his 2006 book, Voice Male, What Husbands Really Think About Marriage, Their Wives, Sex, Housework and Commitment.

The problem is that as women's lives and expectations have changed, men feel they are in a no-win situation, he says. "Wives want husbands to be more active and more assertive and yet when men are more active and assertive, they're often criticized for being dominating and aggressive.... And when they try to pay attention to women's needs, they are often told they are too wimpy, too submissive, too lazy."

Men are at a disadvantage in relationship discussions, Mr. Chethik acknowledges. "They still have a long way to go to mentor each other about being a father and a husband and family man," he says. "The culture still attaches negative associations to men speaking about their personal lives. They are supposed to know this stuff. They are not supposed to ask for help. It's seen as a weakness."

If you ask me, his solution is more equitable than Ms. Rubenstein's.

"In the same way that at one point in the work world, men might have had to say to women, 'Here's what you have to do in business to be successful,' men get it that they have to receive wisdom in the domestic realm. And just as women have found that their way of doing things in the work world brings added value, men see that there's a male way of doing things in the home.

"Both men and women have their emerging competencies."

Now there's a happy, co-operative revolution.

              
......Share THIS KNOWLEDGE with all HUMANITY....
TO MAKE THEIR

TOMORROW HAPPIER THAN TODAY
WITH A LIFE CHOICE TO USE THIS KNOWLEDGE
IN DAILY FAMILY LIFE....



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