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WIFE: MULTI-TASKING WOMEN STRUGGLING TO BE OR NOT TO BE..with industrialization and lack of DHARm knowledge re CREATOR'S DESIGNED WOMAN'S ROLE IN LIFE Posted by Vishva News Reporter on December 24, 2010 |
NOW WITH INDUSTRIAL PROSPERITY OF
MATERIAL WEALTH
In the traditional "uni-tasking" husband-wife meaning in family life
with husband remaining uni-tasking as traditional husband....
.....the meaning and multi-tasking role for a wife is changing to
Corporate Wife,
Retro Wife,
Political Wife,
Abused Wife,
Good Wife
and the latest
Superior Wife......
(To
know what uni-tasking and multi-tasking means in the latest scientific
research....
please visit to refresh your memory of what "multi-tasking" does to a
person
in the scientific research news article published this AASHRAM NEWS page
by clicking
here)
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In their quest for more power after generations of not having enough,
br />
wives have eagerly taken control of not just the family and the
housework,
but also bringing home the bacon, paying bills and making major
financial decisions.
In the process, they've discovered their superior ability to multitask,
"one of the serious biological differences" between men and women,
But they have also undermined their own happiness.
Say
Ms Carin Rubenstein, author
and social psychologist,
in her new book to be released second week September 2009:
"the Superior Wife"
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....PVAF'S CONTINUING SHARING OF
TRUE KNOWLEDGE
TO GIVE YOU A LIFE CHOICE OPTION FOR
HAPPIER FAMILY LIFE CHOICES..... |
PVAF is publishing this news story full of knowledge about how man-woman
relationship is evolving in current time era called
kli-yug in
vED SCIENCES KNOWLEDGE OF
LIFE AND CREATION ....and PVAF recommends YOU to refresh
your knowledge memory of the Creator's design for man-woman relationship
in changing in 4-yug cyclic
vEDik time
cycles in NEWS
ARCHIVE and vED
pages on this knowledge sharing website....
One of the vEDik
fundamental reason of the evolving
"SUPERIOR WIFE" role explained by Ms. Carin Rubenstein
in her new book is what has been stated in
18 puraaAN texts : In
kli-yug
women will rule men with money/wealth controlling everybody and all
human kARm
(all human actions performed with
thought, speech and body functions and actions) with least regard
to the rules and regulations of
DHARm....Without living to the rules and
regulations of DHARm
life becomes more of
DuKH (pain, suffering due to life and
body systemic malfunctions) in futile effort to have
suKH
(happiness, joy, pleasure and prosperity thereof)...
If you wish to discuss the above
vEDik aspect of
Ms Carin Rubenstein's
"THE SUPERIOR
WIFE" then the
contributor of this news item
Champaklal Dajibhai Mistry
of Edmonton, Alberta Canada has kindly agreed to your contact with him
whereby he can share with YOU his continuing study of
vED = SCIENCES
OF LIFE AND CREATION.....please
click
here to contact
Mr. Mistry by email....OR post your questions/comments in this news item
by clicking on the
POST A COMMENT
button in the header of this news item...... |
.....Now enlighten yourself with the knowledge of Ms Rubenstein on
the evolution of women to superior wife....by clicking on the next line
to go to the next page of this news..... |
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.....Meet the Superior Wife...
She brings home the bacon,
raises the kids
and pays the bills,
say no thanks
to hapless hubby.
......And she may be headed for divorce!!!!....
(From Canadian
Globe and Mail:
September 4, 2009: Sarah Hampson's Generation Ex: email:
shampson@globeandmail.com)
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A wife is rarely just a wife. She is a person
who is modified somehow - a reflection, arguably, of the continuing
debate (and, some might say, confusion) about how to be one.
There is the Corporate Wife, the Retro Wife, the Political Wife, the
Abused Wife, the Good Wife - and now, thanks to Carin Rubenstein, author
and social psychologist, there is a new handle: the Superior Wife.
That's the title of Ms. Rubenstein's new book, to be released next week.
And it's the wife-du-jour in popular culture, at least judging by the
frequent depiction of efficient wives and hapless husbands in
contemporary advertising.
Ms. Rubenstein has put her finger on a problem in modern marriage.
Unfortunately, it's her solutions which are flawed.
In their quest for more power after generations of not having enough,
wives have eagerly taken control of not just the family and the
housework, but also bringing home the bacon, paying bills and making
major financial decisions. In the process, they've discovered their
superior ability to multitask, "one of the serious biological
differences" between men and women, according to Ms. Rubenstein. But
they have also undermined their own happiness.
The dynamic is not good - not for wives, not for husbands and not for
marriage.
The "have-it-all" exhortation in the feminist movement led to the
Do-It-All Wife, a state of disgruntlement that often ends in divorce. "A
lot of divorced women said that because they were doing everything
anyway, they think, 'What's the point in staying together?' They just
give up, basically," Ms. Rubenstein explains.
She is not speaking of all marriages, she is quick to point out, but in
her research, conducted through Web surveys, two out of three
respondents, male and female, described the dynamic of Superior Wife in
their unions. Research that shows fathers take part in family life more
than their counterparts did in previous generations does not reflect the
fact that their involvement is being directed by the wives, who have to
remind them when and where to pick up a child, say, or what to make for
supper, she says.
Women are partly to blame, she freely admits. They like the upper hand.
"It makes you feel sort of powerful. It's empowering to know that you
are the one doing it all better."
In her marriage of 30 years - a happy one, she says - she sees how her
own behaviour created the inequality that irked her. "My husband cannot,
for the life of him, clean a pot. If I make him do a pot, I'm afraid to
look," says the mother of two grown children.
She had to learn to let go of her superior pot-cleaning obsession.
Women's standards may be higher, she says, "but they may not be better.
There's no right or wrong way to dress a baby or put a diaper on, unless
it drops off."
The arrival of children is often when the problem starts, as men think
they don't know how to deal with babies. Couples need to be "on
hyper-alert" about these gender assumptions, she says. "Women need to
monitor themselves more than their husbands," she explains. "When their
husbands say, 'Oh, you do it better,' they need to say, "No, I do not."
To allow husbands to learn their own competency in looking after
children, some wives say they have to leave the house, Ms. Rubenstein
adds.
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Critical as she is of wives, though, Ms. Rubenstein places most of the
blame on husbands. "There are not enough good men around," she says at
one point, declaring that equitable marriage is a long way off. "It's
always easier when someone is rowing the boat to sit back and ride,
especially when someone seems to need to be rowing the boat and wants to
be rowing the boat."
Unfortunately (and ironically), Ms. Rubenstein's approach to addressing
the inequality in many marriages is as potentially destructive as the
problem she describes. To lighten their load - or swing the pendulum
nearer the middle - she encourages wives to use their superiority to
reprogram and train their husbands.
In one part of the book, she suggests that women use sex to manipulate
their spouses. "He's like a two-year-old child," she says of most
husbands. "You have to offer him a piece of candy. You have to work with
rewards that are going to work. Sex is one of those."
She infantilizes men at the same time as she reports that wives complain
that their husbands are like additional children they didn't ask for.
Which is not helpful.
"Men are forging a new way of being husbands and fathers and family men,
and sometimes this is awkward," comments Neil Chethik, an expert on men
who researched how husbands are adjusting to the evolution of marriage
for his 2006 book, Voice Male, What Husbands Really Think About
Marriage, Their Wives, Sex, Housework and Commitment.
The problem is that as women's lives and expectations have changed, men
feel they are in a no-win situation, he says. "Wives want husbands to be
more active and more assertive and yet when men are more active and
assertive, they're often criticized for being dominating and
aggressive.... And when they try to pay attention to women's needs, they
are often told they are too wimpy, too submissive, too lazy."
Men are at a disadvantage in relationship discussions, Mr. Chethik
acknowledges. "They still have a long way to go to mentor each other
about being a father and a husband and family man," he says. "The
culture still attaches negative associations to men speaking about their
personal lives. They are supposed to know this stuff. They are not
supposed to ask for help. It's seen as a weakness."
If you ask me, his solution is more equitable than Ms. Rubenstein's.
"In the same way that at one point in the work world, men might have had
to say to women, 'Here's what you have to do in business to be
successful,' men get it that they have to receive wisdom in the domestic
realm. And just as women have found that their way of doing things in
the work world brings added value, men see that there's a male way of
doing things in the home.
"Both men and women have their emerging competencies."
Now there's a happy, co-operative revolution.
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