SECOND OPINION
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast.
"You aren't so good in bed either!" he shouted and stormed off to work.
By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home. After many
rings, his wife picked up the phone.
"What took you so long to answer?"
"I was in bed."
"What were you doing in bed this late?"
"Getting a second opinion."
SELF DIAGNOSIS
The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that
hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts,
too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", she cried.
The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis,
"You have a broken finger."
A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE:
"Doctor, I have an ear ache."
2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."
1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2000 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"
MIRACLE DOCTOR
"Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?"
"Yes, of course..."
"Great! I never could before!"
PLAY DOCTOR
The seven-year old girl told her mom, "A boy in my class asked me to play
doctor."
"Oh, dear," the mother nervously sighed. "What happened, honey?"
"Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance
company."
TELEPHONE THE DOCTOR WHILE IRONING
A guy walks into work, and both of his ears are all bandaged up. The boss says,
"What happened to your ears?"
He says, "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and shhh! I
accidentally answered the iron."
The boss says, "Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other
ear?"
He says, "Well, jeez, I had to call the doctor!"
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