|EXAMS ARE TERROR...TO MOST WHO WRITES THEM...BUT TO EXAMINERS THEY COULD BE VERY HUMOROUS....|
Posted by Vishva News Reporter on February 5, 2003
The following is a list of comments
from test papers, essays, etc., submitted to science and health teachers by
elementary, junior high, high school, and college students: "It is truly
astonishing what weird science our young scholars can create under the
pressures of time and grades." The spellings are the original ones.
- When you
breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire.
- H2O is
hot water, and CO2 is cold water
collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
- When you
smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide
Please click on the next line to continue enjoying the
serious humour of high school students.....
- Water is
composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is
gin and water.
kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.
flows down one leg and up the other.
Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then
- The moon
is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader.
insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.
- Dew is
formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.
always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
- The body
consists of three parts--the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity.
The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and
the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e,
i, o, and u.
pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.
skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the
outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to
hitch meat to.
permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars,
and eight cuspidors.
- The tides
are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon,
because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget
where the sun joins in this fight.
- A fossil
is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.
A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa.
Germinate: To become a naturalized German.
- Liter: A
nest of young puppies.
Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.
What you give a person when they are going away.
- Planet: A
body of Earth surrounded by sky.
A kind of celery gone bloodshot.
- Vacuum: A
large, empty space where the pope lives.
giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or
- To remove
dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.
- For a
nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops.
drowning: Climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artifical
fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand
instead. Or put the head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor.
- For dog
bite: Put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill
asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.
- For head
cold: Use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.
- To keep
milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow.
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