Here is some amusing glossary of STOCK MARKET...a
place where you think you do not have to work hard and make money by your own
sweat...think again you do sweat daily, monthly, yearly when you see your
savings disappearing with no accountability....the glossary below expresses the
delusion of maayaa shkti and
sweating...This posting was submitted by SRii Jaswant
Mehta, a long time dedicated volunteer of
Association of Edmonton, Alberta, Canada......
- BULL MARKET: A random market
movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
- BEAR MARKET: A 6 to 18-month
period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the
husband gets no sex.
- MOMENTUM INVESTING: The fine art of
buying high and selling low.
- VALUE INVESTING: The art of
buying low and selling lower.
- P/E RATIO: The percentage of
investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
- BROKER: What my broker has made
- "BUY, BUY": A flight attendant
making market recommendations as you step off the plane.
- STANDARD & POOR: Your life in a
- STOCK ANALYST: Idiot who just
downgraded your stock.
- STOCK SPLIT: When your ex-wife
and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
- FINANCIAL PLANNER: A guy who
actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper and
- MARKET CORRECTION: The day after you
- CASH FLOW: The movement your
money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
- YAHOO: What you yell after
selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
- WINDOWS: What you jump out of
when you're the sucker that bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
- INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR: Past
year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.