Posted by Vishva News Reporter on March 30, 2003

Here is some amusing glossary of STOCK MARKET...a place where you think you do not have to work hard and make money by your own sweat...think again you do sweat daily, monthly, yearly when you see your savings disappearing with no accountability....the glossary below expresses the delusion of maayaa shkti and sweating...This posting was submitted by SRii Jaswant Mehta, a long time dedicated volunteer of Alberta Gujarati Association of Edmonton, Alberta, Canada...... 

  • BULL MARKET:  A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
  • BEAR MARKET:  A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
  • MOMENTUM INVESTING: The fine art of buying high and selling low.
  • VALUE INVESTING:  The art of buying low and selling lower.
  • P/E RATIO:  The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
  • BROKER:  What my broker has made me...a BROKE
  • "BUY, BUY":  A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step off the plane.
  • STANDARD & POOR:  Your life in a nutshell.
  • STOCK ANALYST:  Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
  • STOCK SPLIT:  When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
  • FINANCIAL PLANNER:  A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes.
  • MARKET CORRECTION: The day after you buy stocks.
  • CASH FLOW:  The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
  • YAHOO:  What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
  • WINDOWS:  What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
  • INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR:  Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

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